Lisa tells her Story of Recovery
Posted on January 11, 2018
I realised at the age of 19 that I numbed my pain and loneliness with the help of alcohol.
It took me until I was 40 to be truly honest with myself and go to a doctor to seek help and to admit that I had allowed a soul crushing monster to take over my life.
My childhood was a happy one, I had beautiful parents who put themselves second, giving my brother and I every opportunity for a promising and happy life. I had a great education, promising ballet career and a student exchange to Germany by the time I was 16. At 17 my Father died suddenly without any forewarning. It was devastating and threw my family into a tailspin. My mother later remarried to a wonderful man and moved away with my brother. A number of my close family members also died in succession after my father, which just added to my pain and loneliness. That’s when I started the insidious relationships with alcohol.
Over the years I’ve been blessed. I’ve lived in magnificent places, had great jobs and bought my first property at the age of 30. In spite of this I did not feel whole and fulfilled. I’ve had long term relationships that ended sadly. Being a sensitive person I numbed my pain, the only way I knew how.
I reached breaking point in Byron with the death of my stepfather and a painful failed relationship. I was now at my nadir. I phoned my Mother after I’d been drinking and said, “Mum, sometimes I just want to go to sleep and never wake up!” She got me onto a plane two days later and I’ve been in Tassie ever since.
It is now 2 ½ years later and I am in my second stay in rehab. The first time I believed that I would finish the two month residential program, learn all I needed to know, pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with it! I failed spectacularly through thinking I could do it by myself.
With the support of my loving and patient family, I signed up for Missiondale. I knew this was it! I could no longer hurt myself, my family and loved ones. I chose LIFE not DEATH!
I’ve now been at Missiondale for 8 months. I surrendered and have taken the stand to have faith in life and patience in knowing that recovery does not have defined or a pro-conceived notion of time.
You cannot force open the petals of a flower, you have to let it bloom in its own time. You cannot force recovery. It takes as long as it takes and the knowledge and realisation of that is empowering in itself!
So, this is my story, this is my life so far. Through humility, honesty and admitting my weaknesses I have become stronger than I was ever before.
I have a bright and shiny future ahead of me!